Walter
walked into the room and pulled up a chair so that he sat in front of me. I
studied a knot in the wood floor like it had all that answers in my life.
Anything so I could avoid the man studying me so intently.
“When
are you going to get past this, Landon?”
“Past
what? Being useless? Crippled?”
“Life
is what we make of it, son. And right now, you are doing a good job of mucking
yours up pretty badly. You lash out at everyone that tries to care for you, I
haven’t seen a single visitor here since you got here and you barely leave this
room.”
“You
don’t get it do you, Walter?”
“Get
what?”
“The
old Landon is gone. All that’s left is—is this.” I waved at my useless self.
“Maybe
it’s not so bad that the old Landon is gone. Maybe it’s time for a new and
improved version.”
“So,
what? You hated me before?”
Walter
leaned back against the chair and crossed one leg over the other. “No, not at
all. But you are capable of so much more than what you were doing.”
“And
I can do so much now.”
“Well,
now, that is up to you, isn’t it?”
“Walter—“
Walter
held up a hand to stop me. “Hear me out, son. You’ve been dealt a lousy hand.
The last year has been difficult. I won’t lie, Amelia and I were terrified you
wouldn’t pull through. But you did and there has to be a good reason for it.”
“I
wish I could see things the way you do, Walter, but I don’t. All I am now is a
useless burden to everyone. To you. To Amelia. Fuck. Even my own father handed
me off to a complete stranger.”
That’s
what hurt the most. In the eleven and a half months since the accident, my
father had only found time to visit me three times.
“He
didn’t hand you off. He is trying to help in the only way he knows how and I
think Evie was an excellent choice.”
“Excellent
for what? All she does is scowl at me and act like a bitch.”
Walter
laughed. “Have you paid attention to the way you talk to everyone? When was the
last time you smiled at anyone?”
He
had a point. I hadn’t made a habit of being likable lately.
“I’m
sorry. I know I’ve been a real pain in the ass since I got here. It’s just—I
don’t know.” I dropped my head into my hands and closed my eyes.
“We
love you, Landon and we want to help you get through this. But you have to let
us.”
“I
went to physical therapy like you wanted.”
“Yes.
And we’re proud of you but that was just the beginning of a very long, very
difficult road to recovery. We’re here to help you. Evie is here to help you.”
“I
don’t like her.”
“Quite
the contrary, son. I think you like her a lot.”
“I
thought home nurses were old and fat and ugly.” I lifted my head and looked at
Walter who was grinning.
“You
don’t like Evie because she isn’t fat or ugly?”
*****************************************************************************
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